Driver's tip: please stop honking at people the second the light turns green. We are not all texting and driving, as sensible people know how dangerous this is. For the sake of everyone, I offer this amusing vignette of what ACTUALLY happens when you honk at, let's say, a mom with five children. Five very noisy children.
Mom: "Shush!!! I can't hear! Was that a honk? Was that a siren? Anybody see a firetruck?"
Kids: "Wahhh! That scared me! Mom, that scared her. Mom, who is that honking? Mom, can you turn up the radio? Mommy, he's picking on me! Mom, she stole my book!"
Mom: (ignoring the kids and vainly looking around for danger) "Quiet! I mean it! I think it's okay. I'm sorry that you're scared. No, I will NOT turn up the radio. How can you possibly hear it? I'm going to separate you two! No T.V. when we get home!"
Meanwhile, the mom's car is still sitting at the green light, which has turned red.
Safety first, people. You are only supposed to honk if you are startled, and there is imminent danger. Missing a green light is not as inherently dangerous as honking and scaring someone, and potentially causing even more chaos. At the very least, give the horn a small tap if it is absolutely necessary. Not a long, wailing sound that is indistinguishable from the noise in the backseat.
Thanks! You're a peach!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Laundry tips Part 2: Humor
"Would this be the appropriate time for a colorful metaphor, Captain?" ~Spock to Kirk, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
I admit that it's hard to have a sense of humor when you are forced to throw something in the laundry bucket or the machine at 2 a.m. However, common sense usually prevails once a prized piece of clothing has been ruined by letting it sit for too long with a stain.
Don't let it sit. Throw protein stains in cold water, add a dash of vinegar for the smell, and let sit overnight or for at least 6 hours. Then wash the article, again in cold water and the stain should come out. Very bad blood or pet stains usually take a couple of washings.
Also important is to scrape off as much disgusting stuff, like throw-up, with a spoon or knife BEFORE letting it sit. This will save you clogging up your washer, and having to deal with it later in a worse condition. And for heaven's sake, don't dry anything with bad stains on it before washing it. If you throw it in the dryer first, (in your sleep-deprived haze) you will permanently set the stain. If necessary, use sticky notes on your washer and dryer to remind yourself which is which. Neon pink or yellow sticky notes work well. It's also good to leave them around your house when you are in a fit of pique. Garbage can note reads: "YOUR turn." Diaper pail: "Need aromatherapy spray!" T.V.:"Less is more."
The grand finale of laundry tips is: help your children learn how to do laundry as soon as they can reasonably fold or sort something. My son has been doing his since age 5. It's not a perfect system, but he has his own day, and has to fold and put away his clothes on that day. No shoving everything in a drawer a la Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. Thank you, Bill Watterson for the laundry humor.
I admit that it's hard to have a sense of humor when you are forced to throw something in the laundry bucket or the machine at 2 a.m. However, common sense usually prevails once a prized piece of clothing has been ruined by letting it sit for too long with a stain.
Don't let it sit. Throw protein stains in cold water, add a dash of vinegar for the smell, and let sit overnight or for at least 6 hours. Then wash the article, again in cold water and the stain should come out. Very bad blood or pet stains usually take a couple of washings.
Also important is to scrape off as much disgusting stuff, like throw-up, with a spoon or knife BEFORE letting it sit. This will save you clogging up your washer, and having to deal with it later in a worse condition. And for heaven's sake, don't dry anything with bad stains on it before washing it. If you throw it in the dryer first, (in your sleep-deprived haze) you will permanently set the stain. If necessary, use sticky notes on your washer and dryer to remind yourself which is which. Neon pink or yellow sticky notes work well. It's also good to leave them around your house when you are in a fit of pique. Garbage can note reads: "YOUR turn." Diaper pail: "Need aromatherapy spray!" T.V.:"Less is more."
The grand finale of laundry tips is: help your children learn how to do laundry as soon as they can reasonably fold or sort something. My son has been doing his since age 5. It's not a perfect system, but he has his own day, and has to fold and put away his clothes on that day. No shoving everything in a drawer a la Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. Thank you, Bill Watterson for the laundry humor.
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